"Terrible! Just terrible. The food is mid. But the service absolutely crap! Christina & Christine apparently don’t get paid enough to treat customers with common courtesy. I have a longer than 2 minute phone call with Christine telling me that “my guess is as good as hers” on how to get a hold of her manager! What a joke…. So you can decide customers don’t need deserve common courtesy that they are PAYING for … and then turn around and talk to me like it’s your establishment. You don’t have time to hear me out when there’s two customers in the restraint who have revived their food. Well “STAN” who apparently manages these two people ….. when you have a change to “handle your business and employees” you might want to coach these two! Common courtesy goes a long way & will get you some tips! Sorry you're stuck waiting tables you poor Chris’s! I hope they have the day they deserve! And I hope they encounter the customers that will treat them the same, me personally I was raised to treat EVERY PERSON like a human being."

"I wanted to like this place, but the experience was disappointing. Service was the biggest issue. At a breakfast restaurant, coffee is basic table stakes. I should never see the bottom of my mug. My coffee was refilled once, when the food was delivered, and never checked on again. The check was dropped less than five minutes after our food arrived, which felt rushed and lazy. Once that happens, you are effectively ignored, which is exactly what happened. No follow up, no chance to ask for more coffee. The food itself was mediocre at best and did not make up for the lack of service. I have pretty low expectations for breakfast spots, but this missed even those. With better service and attention to basics, this could be much better."

"I've been eyeing this place for years and just always passed it up because from the outside it doesn't look like much. I could not have been more wrong to do so. I will never get back the years of waisted mornings eating at literally any other diner. The Uptowner has my undivided business henceforth until my last dying breath. This little slice of unbridled Americana gives me hope that there is still good in this world and that my life can have some semblance of greater meaning in the vast and terrifying abyss we call the Universe. Let me take you on a journey: My buddy and I come hobbling in through an indistinct doorway on the corner of Lexington and Grand after a trying morning of antique furniture moving that left us fatigue and listless. Blown in from the cold December wind the warmth of a smile from the only waitress on staff and the open flattop sizzling with hashbrowns and bacon behind the bar kissed our frozen cheeks as we sat ourselves at a booth she insisted on wiping down first. "Where is the bathroom?" I asked. "Around the corner and follow the signs" she said. I meanered through the café around the corner and through the greasy kitchen only to be met with a sign that read " Not The Bathroom." They saw me coming... Ah yes, there is the way. More signs led me down the creeky stairway a couple of flights later and I think, "this is where i get trapped and cut up into tomorrow's breakfast" but no such luck. A clean bathroom visit had me happy and I soon returned to my booth with a clean menu waiting for me. Every item looked excellent, but that morning I heard the siren call of biscuits and gravy and being the weak man I am, I answered. Another sailor lost. In what felt like 5 minutes a large plate was dropped in front of me by the cook and I was aghast at the expediency with which my order became manifest. I thanked him kindly and what I experienced next was nothing short of mercy to the sufferers of this world (me). The crunch of the hashbrowns could be heard for miles, fluffy biscuits nearly lifting off the plate if not restrained by a blanket of thick white gravy with just the right touch of spice from the succulant sausage. Overeasy eggs weeping their golden yolk like tears of joy over bacon so thick it felt shameful. Hot, bold coffee filled my cup endlessly and the surrounding walls studded with children's artwork wrapped us in a cozy of what can only be remembered as a damn good time. Whatever I paid, I would pay twice. Personable and happy staff were the cherry on top of what I wish was a standard dining experience. But I feel fortunate to have found this small bastion of flavor and cheer. A true gem of our time. I recommend The Uptowner to anyone who wants a better life. Do yourself and your local diner a favor and nourish your body and soul at this fine establishment ASAP. I waisted years, please don't make the same mistake. Do it for the Plot. Rambunctiously Satisfied, - Eli"

"Pretty average. Good service and coffee. The food was just OK. I had been here like 10 years ago and liked it quite a bit. Feels like they have lost a step. Toast was dry, hash browns were on the greasy side."

"Today was my first time visiting the Uptowner. Great food, character and staff! I’m always looking for great “hole in the wall” places for breakfast. This is exactly what I’m looking for. I had the Denver omelette. It was delicious. The hash browns were cooked well. Staff were incredibly friendly. I will be visiting this cafe more often."