"Greetings, Earth residents. I stopped at Aroma Joe’s during my planetary exploration because there was nothing else around, and my spacecraft runs exclusively on caffeine and poor decisions. Service was fast. Impressively fast. Like, “we need to get this alien out of here before he asks questions” fast. In that sense, mission accomplished. Now… the cheese-stuffed pretzel. Friends. Allies. Carbon-based lifeforms. This was not food. This was a hydration test. The pretzel appeared to be infused with powdered cheese that had been briefly shown a microwave and then emotionally neglected. One bite instantly vacuumed every drop of moisture from my mouth. My tongue tried to escape. My eyeballs filed a missing persons report. I had to consciously remember how to swallow, which is not something you should have to do in a food establishment. “Mouth-ducking dry” doesn’t even begin to cover it. This pretzel could survive in space. NASA would love it. If you dropped it on Mars, it would ask for chapstick. The beverage was… acceptable. It functioned. It moved liquid from cup to mouth, which—after the pretzel incident—was critically necessary for survival. Would I return? Only if: Earth is under evacuation Dunkin’ has finally achieved full planetary dominance and shut down Or I am being pursued by bounty hunters and need shelter immediately Final alien assessment: Aroma Joe’s is fine in a pinch, fast, and exists when nothing else does—but that pretzel is an intergalactic war crime. ⭐⭐ Two stars. One for speed. One for reminding me why my species eats energy cubes."

"The food and the drinks are great! However the young girl always wearing a carhartt vest had me sitting for so long because she was chatting. She handed him his drink and just talked for almost 5 minutes."

"Our dogs new favorite stop. Great drinks, food, and pup cups. GREAT service."

"So good. Great staff! Very consistent drinks at a great price."

"The ladies who work in the mornings are so sweet! 😊Love coming here, they always make my day. The hand written notes & the stickers on my cup are so lovely!"